a Jakarta-based film critic

Treaty of one word

One word is one of my poems. I wrote it for inclusion in the Parade of Love Poetry. And someone who had read it commented, “I know that word!” Certainly, you also know that word.

When I was striven for close my eyes and perhaps I would hate everything I want, I remember a fantasy that I made when I was in a Junior High School. And this fantasy clarified me to decide that I have to say good bye with them whom was only known by Xaviera.

All the questions of my mistake had been answered. Now I know that plums will accompany a conflict of friendship. I know that admirer just admire the one she admired. I know that interest in an attitude and a face is only a bad outlet—cute is a very bad crack. And then, clear sky and full of joy that I see of sister of a crack is an upset, disappointment, irritation and pain.

When I met the glow, I feel a lust, I feel passion and attraction. I thought it’s a wickedness. But when I touch the light, I feel a calm and comfort. I could close my eyes without a tears but with a smile and compassion. By the time I realized and believed that the one word need a gusto, zest, passion, and lust. Together with the light then I know better with all of what I wonder. Though it’s wrong, the glow still shining beside me.

And together with the glow then I know there are many things would be better if we didn’t do the thing that we think is good. Therefore, I have to make a treaty of one word perhaps it will tie me not to do the bad things again and again so that the glow still shining forever. And you know that Goddess of light, Xaviera, was still convinced that I would be a good man. I do not want to make God disappointed of my fourth blunder.

This treaty of one word declares the door is closed forever.

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