berpikir sebaliknya

Tiga puluh tujuh menit lagi menuju tanggal 2 Mei 2019. Sekarang, saya duduk di salah satu sisi ruangan rapat Forum Lenteng. Di ruangan ini, ada Anggra (yang sedang menonton film), Otty (yang sedang membuat minuman), dan Hafiz (yang sedang menyunting karyanya di depan komputer. Dhuha mungkin sudah berbaring tidur di kamar di lantai dua. Ule, mungkin sedang membaca-baca literatur tentang musik eksperimental di ruang kerja Visual Jalanan.

Semalam, hingga pagi saya membaca jurnal Kalam edisi 1 tahun 1995: tentang perdebatan paradigma postmodernism yang, sebagaiman dicatat oleh Nirwan Dewanto pada pengantar redaksi, muncul di Indonesia pada dekade itu lebih banyak di media massa dariapda di jurnal-jurnal akademik. Jurnal tersebut juga mencatat betapa banyak kekeliruan tafsir dari sejumlah penulis tentang paradigma tersebut.

Sehari sebelumnya, saya membaca tulisan May Adadol yang mencoba menguraikan sejumlah pandangan atas pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang muncul di kepalanya terkait topik gender yang diangkat pada simposium The Gender in Southeast Asian Art Histories, Universitas Sydney, pada Oktober 2017. Dari teks panjangnya itu, saya tertarik pada satu paragraf:

“How to learn to do otherwise? Instead of declaring intellectual independence from the master’s house or demonstrating command of the master’s tools, thus running the risk of saying no more than that you possess the institutional academic competence to follow a defined upward path from point A to point B, what could germinate instead by grappling with theories, concepts and ideas as if you are following a labyrinthine winding thread, or drawing a living, continuous, unwieldy line in a process and time that feels like the thickest possible duration?1 What if, instead of reproducing your training by applying or critiquing ‘Western theories’ as learned behaviour, you try to learn to live artistically with theories of whatever provenance? What if you try to live by playing with using and misusing whatever ideas, speculations and concepts, originating from wherever and passing through whichever paths, that you have encountered and which have captured your imagination and gripped you in ways you don’t quite understand, to push further into somewhere as yet undefined?” (May Adadol Ingawanij, “Making Line and Medium.” Southeast of Now: Directions in Contemporary and Modern Art in Asia, vol. 3 no. 1, 2019, hlm. 14).

Pertanyaan-pertanyaan di paragraf tersebut, di mata saya, bukan bertindak sekadar sebagai pertanyaan, tapi justru juga sebagai semacam ungkapan yang mengandung kekuatan ilokusioner yang berguna bagi mereka yang bekerja di wilayah-wilayah yang lepas dari pengakuan sistem dan rezim pengetahuan.

 

Jakarta, 1 Juni 2019, pukul 23:32 WIB.

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